Saturday, May 4, 2013

Why I Froze My Eggs - You Ignored the Wisdom of Ages

I started to read a WSJ article that discussed egg freezing this weekend while visiting my parents.  Ever the optimist, I thought this would be an article about giving married woman more options, which might also reverse our low birthrates.  Instead, the second paragraph revealed the real issue:
Egg freezing stopped the sadness that I was feeling at losing my chance to have the child I had dreamed about my entire life. It soothed my pangs of regret for frittering away my 20s with a man I didn't want to have children with, and for wasting more years in my 30s with a man who wasn't sure he even wanted children. It took away the punishing pressure to seek a new mate and helped me find love again at age 42.
I don't normally wade into the culture wars, leaving that for KT and Leslie (Leslie also posts regularly on College Insurrection).  But I have to ask what inability to assimilate socially useful information (search that phrase) results in a decade and a half of relationship futility with known losers?  Decade 1: you know that you don't want to have children with Dolt #1, despite your claim that having children is your lifelong dream, but hey what's a decade?  Decade 2: Dude can't even decide?  Sorry, a real man will either say "I want to have children and marriage for life; honey you're the one I want to make babies with" or "I don't want kids, I am focused on my own career, or whatever, but I still want the lifelong marriage."  Mister milquetoast does neither and Ms. Egg Freezer can't bring herself to leave this loser.  I didn't read the rest of the article, because this woman had destroyed her credibility in two short paragraphs.  And she is sadly mistaken if she thinks that this all cost her $50,000.  It cost far, far more and sadder still, she is now lying to herself about it.

This is why, in ancient times, like up to a few centuries ago, marriages were arranged by parents or through some other means.  Relationships outside of the context of life long commitment weren't even contemplated.  The lesson to be drawn is that you only date those with whom you see a possibility of marriage.  My oldest son, in his early twenties, gets this.  If you ask him why he hasn't been on that many dates, he will say that he only dates women with whom he intends to have a serious relationship.  By serious, he means potentially leading to marriage.  Why bother otherwise, he says, it just wastes the precious little time that God has given him on this earth.  That American women in their late thirties do not understand this concept eludes my comprehension.  Like all great principles, this one is simple and understandable.

What You Should Be Reading

Dean calls out Chuck Schumer for throwing Obama under the bus, acknowledging that the ACA is going to send your health care bills through the roof.  Relatedly, Megan McArdle analyzes why access to Medicaid doesn't make Oregonians healthier.  

As Professor Mark J. Perry has been pointing out on his blog, Shale oil and gas in North America is THE game changer.  Even Obama can't stop this from benefiting the U.S. in a big way.  The National Interest looks at the national security implications.

3 comments:

  1. Incredibly sad.

    I think I know why she stayed-- so that she wasn't alone.

    Which is unspeakably sad....

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  2. I love this post and have a follow-up written in my head. I'll try to publish it to the ether soon and link back.

    ReplyDelete